A Practice for Christian Dating
Passing Notes
In this post, I want to share a simple practice that a Christian man and woman can use when they are dating or engaged. My wife and I found this practice very helpful, and I believe that many of my readers would enjoy this suggestion. This single practice was responsible for laying most of the shared biblical literacy in our marriage.
The practice is a Scripture Journal Exchange. There are a few companies making scripture journals; this New Testament set from Crossway is what we used. They also sell them for individual books, or the Old and New Testaments together.
The basic idea is to pass back and forth these scripture journals each time you see each other. When you have the journal in your possession, you read and annotate. Then, the next time you both spend time together, you give the journal to her, where she can see your annotations and add her own as she reads what you have already read, plus the next chapter.
If you are dating/courting the one that you intend to marry, or at least are seriously and prayerfully dating with the intention of finding the one to marry, this is a practice for you. It is a time investment, but it pays off. It is a way to experience the Sacred Scriptures together while maintaining healthy distance while you are still unmarried persons.
My wife and I would see each other 1-3 times a week when we were dating and engaged. Exchanging the jounrals was a helpful practice because we were able to cover a lot of ground when we did spend time together. “What stood out to you in that last chapter?” Even when we could only meet up for a short time over a coffee, we were able to still grow in our knowledge of God and of each other by the shared time we spent, although separately, in the Sacred Scriptures.
We went through Paul’s epistles first, as those have the most practical application for the household and for marriage. The epistles have so much to say about the household, marriage, children, the proper use of money, and how to live as servants of Christ. See Colossians 3, Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, 1 Corinthians 11, and many more. By reading and annotating through those in this way, we were able to have many crucial conversations about how we planned to apply the teachings of Christ in these areas in our marriage.
I asked my wife to give her thoughts:
“Exchanging scripture journals during our dating and engagement seasons helped to maintain and solidify Christ at the center of our relationship. I think in a way it helped us to get to know one another better as we would exchange thoughts and insights on the scripture… I’m much newer to the faith than Cody and it honestly strengthened my own individual faith in Christ and taught me to dive deeper into the Word. It’s definitely an awesome resource and really impacted our relationship along with my own individual relationship with Christ.”
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Ingredients:
A set of Scripture journals.
Two different colored pens.
A future wife.
Steps:
Pick a book of the Bible (New Testament is easiest).
Read a chapter or so. Use pen color #1 to annotate, underline, and take notes.
The next time you see your future wife, hand her the scripture journal.
She reads the first chapter that you had read, and then the next chapter as well, while taking notes with pen color #2.
Next time you see each other, discuss the first chapter, which you will both have read, and then take the journal back.
Read the chapter she has annotated, plus the next chapter ahead.
Repeat until that book is done, and then move on to another New Testament book.
Here is an opportunity for us to read and internalize the answers before we even have the questions. These journals make a great Christmas, anniversary, or birthday gift. The ESV Scripture Journals that we used are great, but Thomas Nelson makes NKJV ones, and Three Sixteen makes these NASB ones. You could also do the same thing with a journaling Bible, like this from Ignatius for the RSV. Get one, and get started. Write her a letter explaining the plan, or send her this.
In a Snapchat and Instagram DM world, this very offline practice is a great way to let real romance flourish as you approach marriage. It is an exciting thing to get the journal back: you find yourself looking forward to holding this sort of love-note. It is an exchange of love-notes wound up and rooted in the love of God and love for God. These well-loved journals have a special spot on the shelf.
Marriage is a garden, and it can be a mixture of glory, terror, abundance, and danger. But it is your garden, that God gave you to tend. So, before the keys to the garden gate are handed to you at the altar with, “I pronounce you man and wife”, get the garden shed full of soil and seed:
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another…
— Colossians 3:16
If you like posts like this, please let me know with a comment. Thank you for supporting Power & Glory, may God bless you.
In Christ the Bridegroom,
Cody
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I’m asking my teenaged daughter to read and consider this (for later). Such a good idea! Thank you.
Great great idea! We did skype Bible study together since we were long distance, but this is an absolutely brilliant idea. I’ll use it for my next wife ; )